Cry with a Breaking Heart

I can't seem to keep the tears from falling...all put together yet somehow left crawling. They all say leave him. No room left to walk away...remembering him before it all went so bad. I wanna see the good, but we crossed the line. Wanting to see where we could go you left me on the sideline.

Reflection of Everything You Said

I know that you said words that you knew would hurt me,

 All this time these are things I would never let you see.

I would fall asleep in tears thinking that my mom was a liar,

Who never loved me.  

Every time I looked in the mirror all I saw was the words

 That left me the first one on a list of everyone of your regrets. 

I saw the girl whose mother wished she had stayed with a man who hated her,

I saw the girl who cried herself to sleep 

When her mom left her to go to New Orleans with her new boyfriend. 

This girl knew she was grown up, but changes like that in high school seem like a rough draft to a never ending nightmare. 

Three Christmas's later and three boyfriends later, 

You didn't see a problem with your actions mom

I was the girl who wondered what was really so wonderful that I was living for, because from where I was standing; it wasn't you. 

What you don't realize mom is that I would do anything for you but you took that for granted. 

I have been there through the divorce and the brake-ups, I have seen you cry and I have made you laugh. 

I have been a daughter and I have been a friend, 

I have been someone that you used to confide in. 

Now look at me, I want nothing to do with you because of the way that your words cut me like a knife. 

I love you mom yet I somehow hate you,

Why adopt me when you just make me see a reflection of every hurtful thing that you ever said. 

 

Chosen Last

I thought you were different that maybe we had a chance

 but you walked away without a second glance. 

I began to question what did I say or do, 

Maybe this time it wasn't me maybe it was really you.  

The hopelessness seems to swallow emotions whole, 

As I try to get my feelings back under control. 

So well played to my disadvantage, 

The utter disappointment hard to manage.

Being left to her own device, 

Can make a girl think twice about luck on the dice. 

Your last choice now a simple mistake,

She steps back with grace as she hits the breaks.

Taking a break from the side that once seemed so real,

Now the dream in a heart for someone else to steal.

Loving Sacrifice

There was a time she believed in love, now so empty she spirals down like a lone shot dove. Once so confident now so scared, there were people who left her there. Without a thought or without a trace she saw a man with heavens gaze. This was what she needed to look up again and shine, without the realization she died that day at nine. Her parents walked in her room to realize that day, there little girl who was once so strong had gone and would fade away. She left the book wide open to a verse they all knew to well, down the road they went to bury their deal young belle. Why she did what she did, they won't know. They didn't listen to her that day so they didn't know why she passed away. She taught them to listen and to never confuse silence, to be an ever ending muse.

When You Left

When you left I didn't know what I would find, I barked all day and howled all night.

You didn't come back or turn around you just dumped me like a stray hound.

I thought I could find and make you love me, but day after day I was like a dog tied to a tree.

I was scared, why would you throw me away, I was so loyal to you each and every day.

I was on the streets for weeks before I could find a place to beg for treats.

I found a new owner and a great home, for once in my life I didn't feel like a dog without a bone.

Take the time to think like me, and don't leave your dog out on the street.

We Thought We Had It All

What was once a fairytale now ends so sad, the paths we crossed, the fun we had.

 Now we walk down different paths, our strides get longer as sand in an hour glass.

You hate me but I love myself, maybe for once in my life I put myself above everyone else.

At the end of the day we both know it had to end, the best of both worlds would eventually have to break the trend.

You have her and I have me, maybe in reality it all worked out like it was supposed to be.

Take her because what she doesn't know,

 Is that her tears won't thaw the frozen snow.

Lessons learned and the paths we crossed, we all end up shattered like broken glass.

Doubt

Stop your worry quit your doubt, 

Does it ever cross your mind that I might know what life's about.

Make no mistake I love you guys, 

But my relationship isn't about what a million dollars buys.

Being put down isn't reality, 

I know that one day life may backfire on me.

I have already been through hell, 

So don't try to get me to kiss and tell.

My heart breaks every time I hear your doubt,

Because I know that love is what life is about.

Memories of Us

 

 

 

When being little and making fun of people in a foreign language was okay. When playing super heroes and letting your sister be the evil one was unfair. When rain couldn't stop us from sliding off the trampoline we would laugh. When playing Marco-polo was unfair because you forgot to say fish-out-of-water. When building forts in the woods didn't include your little sister. When being little and looking like twins wasn't so bad. When doing the flying superman down the stairs wasn't the smartest thing we ever did. But that was then and this is now. Don't forget memories of us.

Cute

One too Many

As I see him pour one more,

I feel his inhibitions hit the floor.

Try as I may to stop the pain,

Love of drinking will mess with the brain.

I know he's lonely and so is she,

But a bullet to the brain won't set him free. 

Words will only go so far,

But feeling will lead him to a bar.

He calls to talk,

He's off the clock.

Between the drinks and the loneliness,

He will hit the ground cold and broken.

One too many,

Will cost him plenty. 

Untouched

Precious is when little eyes open,

When a lullaby lets her sleep. 

Moments like pre-school to make her cry,

Moments like high school to say goodbye.

Weddings to tell her she'll never be alone,

A beautiful baby to bring into a new home.

The cycle of life will remain untouched,

As long as the mockingbird sings.

Make a Wish

 

 

 

Make a wish, one with some thought.

Something that can't be sold or bought.

Something that can't be taught.

Something besides the fast cars and freedom.

Something that you've never wanted before.

Some old wish that crashed to the floor. 

What could it be is the question pondered.

So much time that we left so squandered.

Take the time to think about,

What make a wish will bring about.

 

 

Taming a Bad Boy

 

When your parents tell you he's bad news,

You're willing for it to be a situation to amuse.

He's dangerous they say,

But that makes her want to stay.

His eyes can read into your  soul,

Yet with this situation comes a deeper hole.

Torn between right or wrong,

You didn't know your will could be so strong.

Defying all odds to be together,

You fly like two birds of one feather.  

Numb

 

 

 

Cold, where no one has been. A place of darkness where your compass will place you in the middle of past and present. Where decisions will have to be made. Ride the dark horse like you stole him or face it. Face the harsh reality of the situation. Is it you? Are you an unrealistic dream in a busy world that has no time for dreamers. Or is it them? Do they understand anything beyond what meets the eye? 

Scary

 

They hide behind a personality.

They lurk in corners near.

When your intuition tells you something,

You'll want to disappear.

In a moment of silence or in the blink of an eye,

You may fall pray to a regular guy.

She Said

 

She said I was cold, without remorse and no hint of emotion.

She said I was defiant and rebellious.

She said she loved me but she didn't.

She said that I was ugly.

She said I would never amount to anything.

She said I couldn't learn.

What she didn't say was: "I'm sorry."

 

Me, Myself, and I

 

Me is the girl striving to keep up in the fast-paced world. World full of hurt and frustration. Frustration that takes you on a downhill slope. Slope where there is no return. Return to the past to face your hurt, Hurt which others inflicted. Inflicted without a reason. Reason being "just because"

Inspiration

Divorce

 

 

 

Divorce can free you if you are stuck,

Stuck between a brick and concrete wall.

A wall that guarded your heart until he broke it,

It, the spirit within.

Within the boundaries of life,

Life that was meant to not be destroyed.

Destroyed and shattered like glass,

Glass that made you fragile.

Fragile meant nothing to him,

Him, a monster in disguise of man.

 

 

If I'd Known

 

 

 

 

If I'd known who he really was I would have turn around and run.

The days with him was like having a bipolar father.

I thought I knew him but his shifts between anger then a card that said hope you have a great day, had me reeling.

He prayed on vulnerability

My lack of information made me a target.

He could make me love him one day and hate him the next.

He was a price to pay, a person who never gave for free.

There was always a catch, it just happened to be me.

Mug shot:LMU

Little Miss Unbreakable

Living in a world as the walls were caving in. In situations that seemed impossible, she was there. There she was in the middle, fighting a never ending battle. A battle to save the innocent, to protect what was left. Left on her own with a life to preserve. Preserve the pain that came with undeniable resistance. Resistance was the key with which she opened her heart. Heart full of love, grief,and memories. Memories collected through the ages, she had written her book. The book that with the title: Little Miss Unbreakable. 

Body Heat

 

Body Heat

 

We were close, closer than we had ever been.  With nothing stopping us, we let our emotions play a role in our lives. Together we could pause a moment in time. We could feel every touch, we would make every moment count. With every breath taken and taken away, we were drawn to one another. The heart and soul poured into one encounter. The moments that could make chills run down your spine. Wrapped in each others warm embrace we let ourselves go. Go to a place where not many have been but where few will go. A place where there are no limits to the passion and fire rekindled. The flame would never go out, not as long as we trusted one another, not as long as we didn't let the world determine the chemistry. As we came closer to the final moment we could see our breath in the midst of the BODY HEAT.

About a Boy Post:Kids are cruel

 

Kids are cruel whether through words or actions. A voice always there to tell you that you something demeaning. An inner strength that they might see that you lack will be the strength that will lift you in times of uncertainty. A sweet memory that might take you away from their cruel world into your own heaven. Like a pack of dogs they surround you but when you find your inner strength you remain standing in the middle and rise above them, bigger and stronger. Letting their hurtful words turn into hot air and float away. Don't let my looks fool you, I have been one of their victims in the past but would not stand for it in the future.

 

 

If......

 

If the cold would quit giving me chills, making summer seem like a heavenly oasis. Making coats feel like rags as it goes right through them. The breeze doesn't help take away the chills, it just adds to the cold nature of the outdoors in December. Could there be a purpose to the cold or would it be like a mythical creature disguised to make fire seem so inviting. As my body quivers from the cold, I ponder one last question. Could the cold stir up warm imagination.

 

If...

 

 

 

If...

If you could be anywhere, where would you be?

Would it be at school or climbing a tree?

Looking up to the clouds and seeing white mounds?

Feeling the breeze that carries with ease?

Looking at a photo and seeing yourself there, sleeping sweetly or having a nightmare?

Riding a horse through an open meadow, or giving a toy to you favorite dog Fido?

 

 

This is....

 

This is a kitten who has yet to discover the big world waiting for him outside.

 

This is a case of mistaken identity, where one originally wanted a female cat but got a male.

 

This is a girl's little shadow to follow her all over the place.

 

This is the cute and cuddly nature of the little beast.

 

This is a hiding spot made for the little prince.

 

This is a happy summer where a girl would get another best friend.

 

This is the bright blue eyes that greet you when you walk outside.

 

This is a summer of discovering new territories and making new friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

H.O.F

 

 

 

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